Deadpool vs Deadpool(Deadpool Kills The Marvel Universe)
Ding
The elevator door opens at the top floor of the Marvel Comics Headquarters, Deadpool prowls out of it and crept through the halls he presses a finger on his lips ”Shh. Be very very quiet. I'm about to kill me some marvel writers”
As he walks along the long hallway he talks to himself(This is it, I can feel the blood rushing through my veins. I haven't felt like this since my first kill mission) Deadpool noticed that the voice in his head didn't respond. He shrugged his shoulders then kept on moving. He brought both of his handguns up, he listened in, he didn't hear anything beyond the door he's in front of. (The nerds must be conducting their latest story. I have a story for them, a group of hack writers get slaughtered by a fictional character they created). Deadpool kicks the door open and charges into the office room but instead of his actual target what he saw before him was enough to have him stop dead in his tracks.
“Sup”
Deadpool, sitting in a chair with a gun pointed at his other half in one hand while sipping some coffee on another” Admit it. Even you had to realize things weren't completely going to go your way. I see you have one of those handguns that points a red dot at folks” Deadpool said noticing the red dot aimed at his chest
Deadpool looked around and noticed that the office is empty
“To cut to the chase a much higher force of work has hired me to take you out, I'm that awesome. If you don't believe me look out the window” Deadpool said as he puts the coffee mug down, not keeping his eyes off his alternate counter part
Deadpool didn't keep his eye off of the one sitting down either as he slowly but cautiously walk towards the window. Keeping his gun aimed at the other Deadpool he glances out the window. Not a soul walks or drives on the streets of NY
“The person who hired me wanted o make sure nobody's caught in the crossfire. Not going to lie I was surprised by that act considering who hired me. You know whats sadder? I may be a psychopath but you on the otherhand act like one of those psychopaths who kill people so recklessly that you don't know the breadcrumbs you leave behind.” Deadpool said
Hearing all of this Deadpool chuckled” You seriously want to protect these idiots? Don't tell me my other half has become all heroic”
Deadpool laughed” Funniest thing I've heard in a lifetime.” He stands up” It has nothing to do with protection. I'd kneecap Quesada for the lulz if I had my way. I was given an job of a lifetime that I cant refuse. And I wanted to check out the gorgeous She-Hulk spread”
“Once I've killed you and finish what I've started. I'm coming after the one who hired you” Deadpool said
“Talk is cheap. Back up the threat laughing boy” Deadpool said then the two simultaneously fired off their respective handguns.
Deadpool, with a Mac-10 for each hand open fires at the other Deadpool who has a duel 9mm in his hand open fired at each other in a John Woo style frenzy. Deadpool delivers a close-to-home burst as he jumps the desk sending Deadpool diving out of view, pinned behind a cubicle.
“I'll be blowing your f***ing head off when she comes, I'll be blowing your f***ing head off when she comes, I'll be blowing your f***ing head off, I'll be blowing your f***ing head off, I'll be blowing your f***ing head off when she comes!”
Deadpool hears his alter half sing as he reloads. His alter stopped singing as he cocks his gun, he peeks out from the corner then ducks back in as a volley of bullets fly. As the bullets fly past Deadpool's head he scoots a chair close by. He waits till his alter stopped to reload then he quickly grabbed the chair and throws it at him. Deadpool blocks it but he was then clipped in the shoulder. Deadpool shoots at him again but Deadpool quickly swats his wrist then picked hiim up and slammed him on the office desk. The desk shatters on impact.
“Big mistake boyscout wannabe” Deadpool said then kicks his alter to the face while kicking his guns away. Deadpool gets up and yanks a file drawer and hits it at Deadpool's face. He double's down then Deadpool knees him to the face then Deadpool crashes to the floor. Deadpool picks him up then he headbutts him to the face but his alter countered with a knee to the groin but Deadpool quickly recovered and grabbed a staple gun from the desk then staple the side of his face a few times. “Son of a ****!!” His alter yelled but yelled louder when Deadpool uses the staple gun to the groin”Payback is hell isn't it?” He grabs Deadpool and throws him at a cubical. The cubical class shatters then Deadpool hits the floor
(That bastard had to use the staple gun) Deadpool said then he noticed a pen then picks it up and immediately stabs Deadpool to the ankle then a few times to the neck. Deadpool punches his alter to the neck then picks up a computer monitor and smashes it to this face. Deadpool leans back and places his hand on the neck wound as his alter was twitching a bit on the ground with the broken monitor on his head. He grabs a file cabnet then drops it on his alter.
Deadpool pulls out his knife while the one of the ground reach in his pants and pulls out a pair of brass knuckles. As the file cabnet is removed Deadpool quickly rolled on his stomach then punched his alter to the ribs then his brass knuckles connected to the jaw, Deadpool could feel his jawbone crack but he managed to give his alter a stab through his right eye. His alter however isn't relenting as he hits Deadpool on the same jaw. A jaw bone tore through the skin this time. He quickly countered another punch and judo throwed him to the ground.
Deadpool coughed up blood”World of complete pain” he gets up then faces Deadpool who says ”Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. What do you say we continue this on a more suitable battle ground?”
The office of Joe Quesada.
We see the outside door of his office and hear the sound of things breaking and crashing, whatever is going on in there we do know that it's being completely wrecked. We cut to Deadpool giving Deadpool an armbar on top of the desk” Another mistake you made is leaving someone alive during your rampage” He leans back and breaks his alters arm, he yells in the process and he gets up off the desk. He then looks up and noticed something on the wall( It all makes sense now) he sees a portrait of Quesada and Mary Jane placed on the wall over his used to be office desk.
Deadpool gets up and has a portrait smashed over his head. Deadpool grabbed a stunned Deadpool then the both of them crashed through the window. The two of them drew out their katana's and started to swordfight before the two of them crashed onto the car.
Deadpool woke up then as his eyes looked down he noticed that he's looking down at his back(Fan f***ing tastic. Broke my neck to the point that my head is on backwards) He looked next to him and noticed that his alter isn't in good shape either, in fact one of his arms is broken to the point that it's dangling. He grabbed his head then twisted it back, it hurts like hell but he managed to rearrange it. He slides off of the car and hits the street. He sees Deadpool moving a bit on the car”Damn he's persistent”
He looked at his broken katana”Why not” he picks it up then staggers at his foe. He drives the sword down but was stopped with both hands and Deadpool kicks his alter away” W-What??? Not going to shoot me in the head like you did Spider-Man” he throws the Katana at Deadpool who dodged it” Like that would do any good” he then turns and staggers away” Hey!” Deadpool shouted then he gets off the car and gave chase.
At a construction site.
(How the heck did I get here? Duh ran here) Deadpool, bloodied and tattered, said to himself as he stalked the construction site” Hey! I'm sure you are wondering right now what happened to that voice in your head? That red thought bubble thing”
His alter called out” Just assumed he stopped talking”
“No. Apparently one of my voices is taking care of him” Deadpool responded as
“Ha!! Good luck with that. We are talking about the darker side of my personality here.” Deadpool called out
“And here I thought your dark side was only something that was conducted through science. Mine on the other hand is 100% natural” Deadpool said
“Joke all you want but it made me the person I am today” Deadpool said
“If you mean a psychotic idiot then it definitely did that. The saddest thing is that despite all those atrocities you are nothing more than a puppet on a string” Deadpool said then noticed a wrecking ball crashing the side where he's located but Deadpool leaped then grabbed ahold of the chain that held the wrecking ball. He climbed it then is on top of the machine holding the wrecking ball.
Deadpool sees his alter controlling the machine thats holding the wrecking ball. He aims his rocket launcher and he fired. The machine exploded but Deadpool dived out of it. “If it were anyone I'd call you a worthy opponent but from what I've heard you're not worth the title” Deadpool drops the rocket launcher then picked up a nail gun. He was grabbed from behind then finds himself being choked by his alter. Deadpool uses his nail gun and shoots his alter to the ribs but the gun was kicked away then Deadpool is sliced to the chest by his alter with a broken katana and is delivered a fierce spin kick.
“Regardless of what you think. Least I'm going to have the pleasure of ending the one enemy who might pose a challenge to me. Besides those atrocities I've committed paled in comparison to what I've done to Weasel. Especially to what I've done to Squirrel Girl, lets just say that after I made her have her fill of her dearly departed sidekick I...Hannibal Lectered her” Deadpool smiled then raises his broken katana to finish his foe off. His eyes widen in horror as he sees his alter staring back at him. No humor in his expression, not even a witty comeback.. Just a cold, empty stare glaring at him as Deadpool raises a remote device then presses the button.
Deadpool exploded, his bottom half exploded into a million pieces but his upper half on the other hand.
Deadpool yelled in pain, he can hear his alter approaching” Sneaked it in when we were wrestling for the sword. It has low velocity, had to make sure your last few moments ends on a suffering note” Deadpool said” And I'm not talking about this current situation you are in, I'm talking about that murderous rampage you had awhile back.” He pulls out a shotgun then blows off both of Deadpool's arms, he yells in the process” Just so you wont try anything funny. I want the last few moments of your wasteful life to be that killing spree you were on was all for nothing”
Deadpool glared”What are you talking about? I slaughtered those losers”
Deadpool looked behind him” Explain to him what I'm talking about”
Deadpool looked in shock to see the figure standing next to his alter who responded” Yes, you slaughtered them. Well, some of them. Then I brought them all back.”
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“Thanks to a couple of allies, who hired Wade here to kill you, they altered the memories of your little senseless acts of violence. It's like you never committed it in the first place nor ever existed. And thats where the it was all for nothing part come in” Death said
“You don't get it! I could have ended it all. No more writers treating us like playthings for our amusement. It was never about ruling the world or any of that BS! It was about making them suffer in the same manner that we've suffered. Isn't that too much to ask?” Deadpool said
“Who the hell do you think you're talking to? You're not fooling me, you know that? With this sympathy for the devil crap? I know what you are. You're the same thing. The same brand of cockroach I've been squashing my whole life. And heres a little news flash for you, killing the writers wont do you any good. There will still be more that would just come and erase what you've done anyway. Either that or you'd come to realize that the writers or some high authority figure that messed up your life. You brought it all on yourself. So congratulations in creating your own personal hell.” Deadpool said to his other half whose jaw tightened then he looked up at the sky as Deadpool cocks his shotgun” Remember what I've said about having a dark side. With mine theres no voice pulling the strings” He aims the gun” It's just me”
BLAM!!!!
“Calmed down now?” Death asked Deadpool as they both stared at the large bonfire that Deadpool created courtesy of a flame thrower”Hold on a sec” he used the flame thrower again”All thats missing is some marshmallows”
Death grinned” I take that as a yes. Franklin and Valeria would be happy to hear the news”
Note: Franklin is an adult and have a sister named Valeria, Death came in contact with them when they were in the Negative Zone while the Other Deadpool was doing his killing spree.
Franklin
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Valeria
http://i.annihil.us/u/prod/marvel/universe3zx/images/archive/4/4f/20060425032912%21Ultimate_susan_head.jpg
“So are they cool? You know with me and everything?” Deadpool said
“After some convincing on my part they know you're not the same one from their universe. So no hostilities on both their parts. After all who was it that hired you?” Death said
Deadpool nods” For once money was no object. Especially after hearing what my other half did. Gotta maintain the rep you know. Even beyond my universe. So this mean they're reunited with their parents and theres hugs and kisses abound?”
Death shook her head” It's best for them they don't remember they existed. Considering the obvious.”
“Ouch.” Deadpool commented” So what happens to them now?”
Death shrugged” Maybe they'll continue as superheroes. Fighting evil in other dimensions and planets”
“Like The Doctor” Deadpool said while keeping the flame going
“Pretty much” Death said
A thought occurred to Deadpool, actually a few thoughts in which he asked Death” Think my semi-sane Shakespearean half is fine autopiloting me back home?”
“ Well he is winning Darcy over with the Asgardian talk” Death said
(Sweet!) Deadpool thought to himself” BTW does Hela know about all this?”
“She pretty much saw the whole thing right now. Deal aside she was rooting for you” Death said
“I'm touched. So does this mean you and Hela are BFFs?” Deadpool asked
“She's pleasant company. Lets just leave it at that” Death said
“It was rather generous of you to grant those people a second chance at life. I bet Hela would have questioned you on that one” Deadpool said
“Don't get me wrong seeing the disappointed look on his face was pleasing but I don't just bring people to life just like that. Another one has to be exchanged. And thats the person whose turned to ash right now.” Death said” A life for a life”
“Still. Generous” Deadpool said and Death looked at her watch” We still have enough time to celebrate”
“Celebrate what” Deadpool asked
“New Years Eve of course” Death smiled then offered her hand” I know just the place”
Deadpool grinned then accepted Death's hand” Lead the way”
Note: Look for the epilogue in Storyboard:smile:
